A woman's ego is frail!

So I was told yesterday that I look somewhat more womanly and curvy of late!
Say What??????
So what, you're saying I'm fat and old? Yeah, thanks - just what I needed to hear.

Ok, now I know I am neither. The opposite in fact meaning very young, very thin and absolutely stunning. (So I love myself what are you gonna do about it?)
But why would any man ever think that this is a smart thing to say to a woman no matter what age or maturity.
Guys, please. Yes, feminism is great, I'm all for it. Totally.
But when it comes to a lady's appearance you ought to nod, smile and tell her she is perfect even if you do in fact think the opposite. Especially when you think the opposite.

(oh and gifts are great too but keep the receipt!)

Let's clarify one thing....I am German.
Yes, in deed - I am!
Now I know what you are thinking, I can probably list all the stereotypes and associations running through you head right now. Not that I am blaming you. I am probably just as likely to have a set of associations that pop up everytime I learn someone is German, or Italian or Russian (racism can be so subtle) and to be perfectly honest most of these will probably prove to be true most of the time. That is not neccessarily a bad thing. There are many German stereotypes I appreciate and have benefited from in the past. There is the hard working German, the effiency, innovation, structure and organisation (always popular with employers!!) and let's not forget the beer!!

(I will not include the Oktoberfest, that's just one step too far and we all know that Bavaria does not consider itself German anyway - nooooooooo, They are an independent country! What do you mean, you did not know that? Do your research!)

However, there is one particular cliche' that has given me trouble for quite some time now, at least eversince I have jumped across the canal to live in the UK.
why, oh why does the world believe we Germans don't have a sense of humour?

Ok, there is the odd bitter old one still stuck in the time of recession and post-war trauma (I mean the last real recession in the 30's where people actually did not have anything, that includes microwave ready meals and a working washing machines). It is also pretty safe to say that there could be the one or other German person that lacks an intelligent and witty sense of humour due to plain mental disfunction or underperformance. (in other words the thick and retarded - I was just trying to be polite). However, the majority of German people do indeed have a very good sense of humour and can be incredibly hilarious.

You don't think so? MMmmhhhh, I wonder why that is......Oh, yeah, of course. It's because YOU DON'T SPEAK THE LANGUAGE!!!!!!!!!!

Let's face it, the best humour is always based on language, witty renarks and puns. The fact that most (English) people don't find Germans funny is most definitly to do with the fact that they lack the ability to understand or speak German, have never lived within German society and consequently fail to comprehend embedded cultural references!

So next time I do not break into hysteric laughter after one of your funny jokes or sarcasstic remarks it is probably becuase after 5 years in this country I still have to fill in some blanks when it comes to puns, people and cultural understanding so forgive me for appearing to be somewhat 'unfunny'.

ooorrrrrrrrrr maybe, just maybe I did not roll laughing all over the floor because what you just said simply was not funny! Not even a bit. And no, it wasnt even particulary witty either. Actually it was just rather embarassing. For you that is of course, not for me. 'Why?' you're asking. Because do you hear that? No? - Then, let me tell you this is the sound of all the other people around you who are-in sync-not laughing!