Ancient times - the nineties

The other week I found myself on the way to a friend's house party in an unknown part of town. Stepping out of thwe tube station I pulled out my blackberry, typed in my friend's address and followed the directions given to me like a loyal puppy. Fast forward 10 minutes and I found myself lost, my phone had died and not only took away the map (which led me into the wrong direction anyway)but alos every phone number of any friend I have. Sad and lost amongst strangers and scary mental people that kept trying to touch my alabaster skin (I don't blame them )I couldn't help but wonder: How on earth did we cope before mobile phones and sat nav on the go?

It seems decades ago that I received my first Nokia 5110 mobile phone at the tender age of 14 (or was I 13?)and by now I have forgotten what it was like before. Did we use smoke signs or maybe even written letters?
No, we agreed a time and place verbally and face-to-face and then, oh wonder, actually showed up at the agreed time and place. In a way, though technology is great in many ways, it has made us freaking lazy and unreliable. Not me though, thanks to my solid German genes that programmed me to always be 10 minutes early for everything I managed to preserve my unshakable reliability - Many thanks to my Prussian heritage ;-)

The art of egg blowing

Another year, another Easter celebration. An extra two days off work, plenty of time to eat, shop and hopefully enjoy the weather in a park near you. Talking about the happy Easter time to a mate of mine a few days ago I happened to mention the German tradition of egg blowing.Yes, I know this sounds kind of, well...., it sounds very dirty. To be honest it is rather messy, sticky and takes a certain amount of lung capacity and sensitiveness. However, it is just what it says on the tin - the blowing of an egg. It is done as part of the decoration process and describes the act of putting two holes in each end of an egg followed by the 'blowing out' of the yolk and egg white. Aim is to have an empty but intact shell which is then painted and hung on trees. Children allover Germany do this in nursery and primary school as part of the curriculum and the art of 'blowing' (and egg that is) should never be underestimated. So this Easter why don't you do something different with your kids and teach how to blow properly. It's fun for the whole family.

That problem with being 'not rich'

So I had to witness yet another report on GMTV this morning about a cab driver in the midlands winning the Euro million. Don't get me wrong, I am sure these people deserve the money as much as any working/middle class family but I can't help but feel...well......incredibly furious and jealous.

See, I play the bloody Euro million every week in the hope that one day I can give in to the overwhelming wish and urgency to be absolutely and entirely fucking lazy. So I admit it, I don't work because I enjoy the office banter, bad coffee and unholy hours. I do it because like 99% of people on this planet I simply do not have any choice.

If it was down to me I'd spent my days sleeping till noon, going to gyms, dance classes and shopping and occasionally get a facial. Say what you want but that just sound like a bloody awesome life does it not?

I even have a solution for the eventual boredom that is likely to creep up at some point. I'd simply go back to uni to get yet another degree. Maybe in arts or dance or history - who knows but at least I'd have fun.

At the end of the day life is bloody short, too short in fact and I can't help but feel utterly depressed at the thought of spending my precious 'pretty' years stuck behind a desk, staring at a wall.

*Sigh*