the problem with religion

Everyone who knows me also knows I am a strong atheist.I reject the notion of god or any gods, I reject the idea that higher powers or creature provide us with meaning and I reject the idea of any kind of after life.

And there lies the issue I have with religion in general. Most belief systems teach of an after life, one or more gods (higher beings)and rules to follow so that the after life can be secured as a 'positive' one. I do recognize that religion has provided the basis for modern society, for rules of living and the framework for a functioning society based on a set principles. I also realize that people crave and need religion as a means of creating hope and purpose. That is were the problem lies. For me the concept of religion symbolizes the arrogance, ignorance and narcissism of the human condition. We cannot, we will not accept that we, being so smart, highly developed and equipped with self-awareness and free will, have in fact no greater purpose to fulfill.
Too full of ourselves we are convinced that we are better than all other creatures with our 'souls'. We refuse to accept that our time is limited and our existence merely temporary and without purpose. So the human being creates purpose, creates meaning by establishing gods, after life and the conviction that our essence simply has to continue existing after we have passed because we are too good, too special and too meaningful to simply disappear.

It is pathetic really, a desperate attempt of an arrogant and self-involved creature to 'talk' themselves up, make themselves important and feed their superiority complex.
because what are we if not superior to all other beings on this earth right?
Wrong! Not only is religion a lie we tell ourselves and our children to ease the pain that the knowledge of a short and overall meaningless life span brings. It is also one of the main reasons and triggers for most of the major and most violent wars in history. An excuse to slaughter each other in the name of religion and varying beliefs. It separates us, it feeds us lies and nourishes our arrogance, racism and cockiness. Maybe it is time we get off our high horses and accept that our existence is not predestined but simply the result of biological development and evolution. Maybe it is time that we accept that everything has an end and that includes ours, irrevocably.

Teen cops vs USA

Since my mate is currently roadtripping through the great States of A. I feel obliged to mention this awesome website he pulled out in a second. Containing a blog, video diary and pictures I expect to see A LOT! (Stay decent though Max will ya?)
Good luck and have fun - I am forever jealous of that wicked vacation.
For website click here

Things to do with a pencil (NO, not what you think)

So back in February on a sunny Monday morning I went to the bathroom to pull a towel out of my chest of drawers. Upon closing the thing an endless gush of water started sputtering out from behind. Sure thing the damn pipe had a leak and started flooding the bathroom, then the hall, the toilet and kitchen. After running around like a headless chicken and frantically calling British Gas for help I had the brilliant idea of sticking a pencil into the pipe which instantly stopped the water and gave me enough time to clean the entire flat. After all that mess was fixed by the friendly British Gas plumber I started thinking. What other brilliant things could a single pencil be good for? So here the ultimate list:

1. Curl up your hair, stick it in there and done - they call that a sleek up do
2. Throw it at people that annoy you. Alternatively, throw at someone you like, might just gain their attention and start a love story
3. Use it to kill blood thirsty vampires it's made of wood after all.
4. Utilize it to scratch areas on your back you wouldn't reach otherwise.
5. Find a second one and use as chopsticks - imagine that subtle taste of graphite - yummy!
6. use them as drum sticks
7. As a stick - you know, to pick up your flatmates dirty underwear from the bathroom floor (have you read yesterday's post?)
8. To play improvised dart with the whole punched ceiling
9. To build a stick man
10. Occasionally, you can use them to, like....draw something or whatever.

p.s. I was also informed that you can do the boob test with a pencil as in test whether it gets stuck which pretty much means they need, erm, a lift - who knew.

The perils of flatsharing

So it's been four years. Four years since I started sharing my living space with total strangers. I mean, not that I lived on my own before. I did have to share a house with my family till I was 18 - I was told that's 'normal'.
So anyway, after leaving the constraints of family bliss and arguing behind I was kinda looking forward to the freedom of living alone i.e. NOT with my parents.

That would all be well and nice if it wasn't for one unusual characteristic of mine that not many seem to understand or share. I LIKE THINGS TIDY!!!!!!
So I tried.
I tried putting up a cleaning schedule that of course nobody ever follows.
I tried leaving the dirt in the hope they'd start feeling uncomfortable and remove it themselves (Of course, I was the only one who felt uncomfortable before they even noticed the difference - so I cleaned.)
I tried getting up early and going to bed late so I could clean after them at night and then again before they got up in the morning. Needless to say that didn't work either 'cos there are like 10 hours in between when I'm not at home and that's a long time at one's disposal if the mission is 'chaos'.
Okay, so maybe they are not that bad.
Maybe it's just the fact that despite my upbringing with siblings I have one fundamental flaw - I don't share well!
In fact I don't share at all.
I mean back in the days I wouldn't even let my sister read my old magazines that I knew inside out because, well... she might leave a finger print you know.
Seriously, after all I've been in that flat the longest does that not entitle me to the prerogative to determine who can use what and when?
It's not like I wouldn't allow them to enter the kitchen and maybe use the fridge, but seriously - do they have to cook?
And the shower - so I can't forbid them to shower but can I at least get them to clean the tiles after every use?
No? Okay then it's clear what I have to do.
Earn loads of money and get my own place where I'll never cook, have a cloth and all purpose cleaner next to anything that could possibly cause dirt and make anyone who wants to visit take off their shoes and wash their hands before they touch anything.

Sounds like a plan!

When is it gonna end already?

Another thing...
I read the other day that they are planning to produce a musical about Jade Goody's life. ( I know, I know,as if a statue in her honour or making her an official saint wasn't ridiculous enough right?)
Anyway, apparently the producer of the whole joke was quoted saying that it would be very difficult to find an actress who could play Jade since she was so 'special'. Well, if by special you mean common, thick and embarrassing then yeah, she was truly 'special'. When I told this little trivia to my friend the other day he made a comment that pretty much sums it up. "What do you mean difficult. There are loads of special girls in Essex."

What's in a name...?

Everyone who is actively following Puneet's blog will have read his entry about our Saturday night adventure at A&E. Apart from the drunken antics of some individuals that shall remain unnamed we also had an interesting conversation about English locations that cannot be pronounced correctly be foreigners due to their rather misleading spelling. It all started with our mate Robin who was asked by an Australian about the location of 'louga-bouruga'. It turned out he wanted to get to Loughborough. Hilarious you think? Now here is a list of other places around London and England that get frequently pronounced incorrectly often to the amusement of locals.

1. Leicester Square (less-tur) = tourist: Ley-chester square
2. Greenwich (greh-nich)= tourist: Green - ish
3. Lewisham (lewi-sham)= tourist: Lewis-ham
4. Barnesbury(barns-bury) = tourist: Barn-es-bury
5. Edinburgh (eh-din-bur-uh)= tourist: Edin-burg
6. Reading (red-ing)= tourist: Read-ing
7. Gloucester (glah-stur)= tourist: tourist: glou-chester

Now I am sure there are many more and to be honest,being a foreigner myself,I too had to learn how to pronounce these names. I remember quite well how I got on the tube on my very first day in London and said to my friend that we have to get off at Glou-chester Road. I don't remember anyone laughing out loud but I'm sure I cause a few giggles. On the other hand there are names, many of them in Wales, that most people simply can't get their head around and I applaud everyone who can pronounce 'Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlll'.
BTW, yes this place actually exists as I was told it is in fact a train station in Wales.

Now all you foreigners out there - don't despair - keep practising.

HC TEAM BLOG ACTION

BTW, for more blogging fun and random trivia - check out Pun's Blog (with so much time on his hands there's always something interesting on there)

Tha art of spanking

Everyone who knows me also knows that I love a good spanking. Indeed I will tell anyone who doesn't want to know even if I have just met them.
Hence, I thought it was time for the good guide of effective spanking.

1. Do not think that the more muscles the better the spank - it's all in the wrist
2. It DOES work best on a naked behind. Clothes just hinder the whole process
3. Creative tools are welcome but keep it in the realm of non-criminal weapons
4. Just when you hit it, pull back immediately! That way you both enjoy it more
5. Mutual agreement is a prerequisite - not everyone likes it!
6. Seize the moment - there is a time and a place.
7. Have a safety word - just in case you get too carried away
8. Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Digital Illiteracy

Call me a digital snob but I find it kinda hilarious (or sad) what type of people choose to study for a MA in Digital Media.
Just the other day I had to explain to one of my fellow students that he can't do a project gantt chart in Excel. In fact, the mere purpose of Project (that is a microsoft application) is the visual demonstration of time management via graphs that Excel kinda doesn't have.
Oh weel, guess I can't expect everyone to know about this - fair enough.
However, fast forward one week and we find ourselves in a seminar trying to arrange a seminar meeting in second life. Being busy editing my avatar's appearance -red shoes, tight black dress - get in!-the girl next to me asks me how to enter second life.
She clearly has the second life website open but struggles to find her way in. Now you see, Second life is an application one has to downlaod in order to participate so you can't access via the web.
Again, I forgive her for not knowing.
So very politely I tell her that it's located on the desktop.
"Where?"
"the desktop sweeaart, it's on the desktop!"
"Where? What?"
"THE DESKTOP!!!!!"

Yeah, No, she didn't know what a desktop is. I had to close her windows and point the cursor to the desktop icon for her. Poor thing, I wonder how she is gonna manage 3D design, game animation and html programming.

A woman's ego is frail!

So I was told yesterday that I look somewhat more womanly and curvy of late!
Say What??????
So what, you're saying I'm fat and old? Yeah, thanks - just what I needed to hear.

Ok, now I know I am neither. The opposite in fact meaning very young, very thin and absolutely stunning. (So I love myself what are you gonna do about it?)
But why would any man ever think that this is a smart thing to say to a woman no matter what age or maturity.
Guys, please. Yes, feminism is great, I'm all for it. Totally.
But when it comes to a lady's appearance you ought to nod, smile and tell her she is perfect even if you do in fact think the opposite. Especially when you think the opposite.

(oh and gifts are great too but keep the receipt!)

Let's clarify one thing....I am German.
Yes, in deed - I am!
Now I know what you are thinking, I can probably list all the stereotypes and associations running through you head right now. Not that I am blaming you. I am probably just as likely to have a set of associations that pop up everytime I learn someone is German, or Italian or Russian (racism can be so subtle) and to be perfectly honest most of these will probably prove to be true most of the time. That is not neccessarily a bad thing. There are many German stereotypes I appreciate and have benefited from in the past. There is the hard working German, the effiency, innovation, structure and organisation (always popular with employers!!) and let's not forget the beer!!

(I will not include the Oktoberfest, that's just one step too far and we all know that Bavaria does not consider itself German anyway - nooooooooo, They are an independent country! What do you mean, you did not know that? Do your research!)

However, there is one particular cliche' that has given me trouble for quite some time now, at least eversince I have jumped across the canal to live in the UK.
why, oh why does the world believe we Germans don't have a sense of humour?

Ok, there is the odd bitter old one still stuck in the time of recession and post-war trauma (I mean the last real recession in the 30's where people actually did not have anything, that includes microwave ready meals and a working washing machines). It is also pretty safe to say that there could be the one or other German person that lacks an intelligent and witty sense of humour due to plain mental disfunction or underperformance. (in other words the thick and retarded - I was just trying to be polite). However, the majority of German people do indeed have a very good sense of humour and can be incredibly hilarious.

You don't think so? MMmmhhhh, I wonder why that is......Oh, yeah, of course. It's because YOU DON'T SPEAK THE LANGUAGE!!!!!!!!!!

Let's face it, the best humour is always based on language, witty renarks and puns. The fact that most (English) people don't find Germans funny is most definitly to do with the fact that they lack the ability to understand or speak German, have never lived within German society and consequently fail to comprehend embedded cultural references!

So next time I do not break into hysteric laughter after one of your funny jokes or sarcasstic remarks it is probably becuase after 5 years in this country I still have to fill in some blanks when it comes to puns, people and cultural understanding so forgive me for appearing to be somewhat 'unfunny'.

ooorrrrrrrrrr maybe, just maybe I did not roll laughing all over the floor because what you just said simply was not funny! Not even a bit. And no, it wasnt even particulary witty either. Actually it was just rather embarassing. For you that is of course, not for me. 'Why?' you're asking. Because do you hear that? No? - Then, let me tell you this is the sound of all the other people around you who are-in sync-not laughing!