Monday, 29 June 2009

Teen cops vs USA

Since my mate is currently roadtripping through the great States of A. I feel obliged to mention this awesome website he pulled out in a second. Containing a blog, video diary and pictures I expect to see A LOT! (Stay decent though Max will ya?)
Good luck and have fun - I am forever jealous of that wicked vacation.
For website click here

Thursday, 25 June 2009

Things to do with a pencil (NO, not what you think)

So back in February on a sunny Monday morning I went to the bathroom to pull a towel out of my chest of drawers. Upon closing the thing an endless gush of water started sputtering out from behind. Sure thing the damn pipe had a leak and started flooding the bathroom, then the hall, the toilet and kitchen. After running around like a headless chicken and frantically calling British Gas for help I had the brilliant idea of sticking a pencil into the pipe which instantly stopped the water and gave me enough time to clean the entire flat. After all that mess was fixed by the friendly British Gas plumber I started thinking. What other brilliant things could a single pencil be good for? So here the ultimate list:

1. Curl up your hair, stick it in there and done - they call that a sleek up do
2. Throw it at people that annoy you. Alternatively, throw at someone you like, might just gain their attention and start a love story
3. Use it to kill blood thirsty vampires it's made of wood after all.
4. Utilize it to scratch areas on your back you wouldn't reach otherwise.
5. Find a second one and use as chopsticks - imagine that subtle taste of graphite - yummy!
6. use them as drum sticks
7. As a stick - you know, to pick up your flatmates dirty underwear from the bathroom floor (have you read yesterday's post?)
8. To play improvised dart with the whole punched ceiling
9. To build a stick man
10. Occasionally, you can use them to, like....draw something or whatever.

p.s. I was also informed that you can do the boob test with a pencil as in test whether it gets stuck which pretty much means they need, erm, a lift - who knew.

The perils of flatsharing

So it's been four years. Four years since I started sharing my living space with total strangers. I mean, not that I lived on my own before. I did have to share a house with my family till I was 18 - I was told that's 'normal'.
So anyway, after leaving the constraints of family bliss and arguing behind I was kinda looking forward to the freedom of living alone i.e. NOT with my parents.

That would all be well and nice if it wasn't for one unusual characteristic of mine that not many seem to understand or share. I LIKE THINGS TIDY!!!!!!
So I tried.
I tried putting up a cleaning schedule that of course nobody ever follows.
I tried leaving the dirt in the hope they'd start feeling uncomfortable and remove it themselves (Of course, I was the only one who felt uncomfortable before they even noticed the difference - so I cleaned.)
I tried getting up early and going to bed late so I could clean after them at night and then again before they got up in the morning. Needless to say that didn't work either 'cos there are like 10 hours in between when I'm not at home and that's a long time at one's disposal if the mission is 'chaos'.
Okay, so maybe they are not that bad.
Maybe it's just the fact that despite my upbringing with siblings I have one fundamental flaw - I don't share well!
In fact I don't share at all.
I mean back in the days I wouldn't even let my sister read my old magazines that I knew inside out because, well... she might leave a finger print you know.
Seriously, after all I've been in that flat the longest does that not entitle me to the prerogative to determine who can use what and when?
It's not like I wouldn't allow them to enter the kitchen and maybe use the fridge, but seriously - do they have to cook?
And the shower - so I can't forbid them to shower but can I at least get them to clean the tiles after every use?
No? Okay then it's clear what I have to do.
Earn loads of money and get my own place where I'll never cook, have a cloth and all purpose cleaner next to anything that could possibly cause dirt and make anyone who wants to visit take off their shoes and wash their hands before they touch anything.

Sounds like a plan!

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

When is it gonna end already?

Another thing...
I read the other day that they are planning to produce a musical about Jade Goody's life. ( I know, I know,as if a statue in her honour or making her an official saint wasn't ridiculous enough right?)
Anyway, apparently the producer of the whole joke was quoted saying that it would be very difficult to find an actress who could play Jade since she was so 'special'. Well, if by special you mean common, thick and embarrassing then yeah, she was truly 'special'. When I told this little trivia to my friend the other day he made a comment that pretty much sums it up. "What do you mean difficult. There are loads of special girls in Essex."

Thursday, 26 March 2009

What's in a name...?

Everyone who is actively following Puneet's blog will have read his entry about our Saturday night adventure at A&E. Apart from the drunken antics of some individuals that shall remain unnamed we also had an interesting conversation about English locations that cannot be pronounced correctly be foreigners due to their rather misleading spelling. It all started with our mate Robin who was asked by an Australian about the location of 'louga-bouruga'. It turned out he wanted to get to Loughborough. Hilarious you think? Now here is a list of other places around London and England that get frequently pronounced incorrectly often to the amusement of locals.

1. Leicester Square (less-tur) = tourist: Ley-chester square
2. Greenwich (greh-nich)= tourist: Green - ish
3. Lewisham (lewi-sham)= tourist: Lewis-ham
4. Barnesbury(barns-bury) = tourist: Barn-es-bury
5. Edinburgh (eh-din-bur-uh)= tourist: Edin-burg
6. Reading (red-ing)= tourist: Read-ing
7. Gloucester (glah-stur)= tourist: tourist: glou-chester

Now I am sure there are many more and to be honest,being a foreigner myself,I too had to learn how to pronounce these names. I remember quite well how I got on the tube on my very first day in London and said to my friend that we have to get off at Glou-chester Road. I don't remember anyone laughing out loud but I'm sure I cause a few giggles. On the other hand there are names, many of them in Wales, that most people simply can't get their head around and I applaud everyone who can pronounce 'Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlll'.
BTW, yes this place actually exists as I was told it is in fact a train station in Wales.

Now all you foreigners out there - don't despair - keep practising.